Helen Martens says she is still pulling together her bearings following the death of her husband Jake in 2019.
The Virden couple was married 64 years and had just moved into the Evergreen Place seniors-living facility when Jake was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
Since his death, Helen has been adjusting to life without her partner. At 86-years-old, she is finding her “new normal” by maintaining social connections at Evergreen Place and reporting on the facility’s news, events and people for the Virden Empire-Advance.
“I feel it’s important and I’m privileged to be able to do it,” Martens says. “I have a journal I write in day and night. I have books and books that I’ve written in around here.
Professionally, Martens spent more than two decades in the field of Child and Family Services.
Helen and Jake were also involved in ministry in Sioux Valley.
Now, in her seniors-living community Helen is a member of an Evergreen residents’ committee.
“I like to be involved and I’m thankful I’m healthy enough I can give energy and time towards things like that,” she said.
Months after becoming a widow, Martens has a cheery disposition with a quick wit and easy laugh. Her shift into her new role as a widow is beginning to take shape, and others are noticing.
“Apparently, people are saying that about me, so I’ll agree,” she said. “I like people to get along and do things together for fun. It took me a whole year after my husband passed to feel part of this family here. I call this my family now; the ones who live at Evergreen.
“It took a long time for me to find a ‘normal’ for my life. Unless you do that, you won’t have a happy life.”
Her growing comfort has also moved her to both honour her husband while exhibiting her new lease on life for everyone to see.
Martens recently had her ears pierced while making a trip to the library on a particularly cold day. She caught a chill and needed to warm up when she caught sight of a sign at a local shop advertising “first-time” piercings.
Flashback to 15 years ago when Jake handed Helen a gift for their 50th Anniversary; a beautiful set of earrings. She had never had her ears pierced, but considering how much she loved Jake and the beauty of the gift, she was hesitant to break the news to her husband that she wasn’t about to get piercings in her mid-seventies.
“We were ready to go (to the Elks Hall) and he asked me about them again,” she recalled. “I said to him, ‘I just can’t do it’… I’ve always thought about that.”
Back to the present, where she’s joking with the young lady piercing her ear lobes for the first time in 86 years.
Helen Martens seems to be finding her footing in a new lifestyle. Although deeply grieved, her faith in God has pulled her through a stormy year. She’s coming out the other side with a smile, a joke and - now - two ears adorned with the gift her husband gave her for a half-century of marriage.
“God has given me a chance to have a happy life and I feel blessed,” she said.
Martens’ Evergreen Place report appears in the Empire-Advance under the “Your Community” banner.
