Hello Cheesecake lovers, I just wanted to let you know that I’m making an investment in a flame thrower. You can even get one at Home Depot! The reason is because of all these dang Manitoban bugs. Call me a city slicker, cement head, or whatever else you prefer… but ya’ll got some infestations that cross the line of normal bugs.
First out of the gate this year was the ticks. I’ve never lived in a place with ticks before, and by golly I’ve got to ask the good Lord why he made such a creature. They’re part of the arachnid family, I’m sure about you but the word arachnid is a trigger word for rolling up this newspaper and bringing havoc on an eight legged critter. The sour thing is though, you can hit stomp and bash ticks and it doesn’t seem to do a thing!
A few weeks ago I had my first tick. I thought it was a scab of some sort. Went to pick it off because I’m kind of weird like that. Woke my wife up with my city boy squeals and stomping. She told me to keep it just in case they needed to identify which type of tick it was!? Keep it?! Heck no, I burned that bad boy. Burned him with style. I tossed him in a sandwich bag and mummified him with a flame. Vengeance is mine says the Lord, but I think he’ll excuse me taking this one into my own hands.
The other disgusting creature I was introduced to this year was army worms. As far as I’m concerned these too should be classified as an arachnid. Why? The way they parachute like spider man off of tree branches. My wife and I did a photoshoot for a local grad last week in Victoria Park and in the evening light you can see thousands of webbed lines from trees to grass throughout the park.
On top of this, they move in herds! My neighbours have been very diligent with spraying an insecticide on their foliage to fight against these alien creatures. Their efforts paid off. Last week as I came home from work one afternoon, I was shocked to see nearly a thousand army worms squirming across the street into my yard. This again would be a great time for a flame thrower.
I thought I had seen it all with ticks and army worms… then they started showing up on social media. I read of a group of hikers that picked off hundreds of ticks from their skin and clothes. Disgusting! Then pictures of the army worm infestations began flooding my news feed. I was convinced the end was here.
Not even getting started on the mosquitoes.
Keep me in your prayers, or more importantly my wife as she has to deal with me.
Until next time!
